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I do not wish to understand this

situation I am in. I do not want to

think about it. Every time it buzzes,

I flap my hands and make it go away. So, I get

a glimpse of it, all it can be

but it does not tarry. Not in

my head, or my face

I feel it though in my thighs. I do

not see the magnitude of the destruction

and the shame that lies in wait

I do not want this to end. This dance,

or whatever it is, really.

There is a window

It is ajar and yonder lays the cessation of all the falsehood

Just last week, I was basking in the innocence of purity

This week I’ve got my colours all messed

I need to step out from the window

into the place of sense and honour

I think what aches my head the most

is the sweet intoxication of the poison

My insides are not foul yet so

I drink more and more

It is like I am daring myself to burst.

Spotify is playing Radiohead’s How to Disappear Completely

The buzz is persistent, even as I write this

but I am pushing it away with the strokes of the keyboard.