I gently rub my palms together as I set out to write again. For the first time in two long years, I feel like I can dance. Move my body like I am writing in cursives. You know, bend and swing my hips.

I have been rolling in happiness and ghosting the accompanying weight since the beginning of 2019. My life has taken a turn, and the tunnel is coming right on. Quite fast. I have a torch on my forehead, the light will guide me through the tunnel, into somewhere I don’t know yet. I am just quite curious why it all seems a bit heavy. I should not be scared, but I feel I will undo all this goodness with my own hands. Maybe that’s why I feel heavy.

My partner and I got married last June and it’s amazing how much responsibility and trust it comes with. The work and commitment are such big tasks. I am trying, and I want to do more. Invest in my new family as much as I put into my job. My partner’s love, companionship, and counsel keep me firm and stable.

I am outlandish and scorn at institutions. I will look you in the eye. I am as timid as I am bold. I don’t ask for what I want or what I’m worth. Not nice.

I feel pains in my chest when I sneeze. Like a squeeze. So much sometimes I clasp my body. I dread to sneeze most times. I should go to the hospital. I have been smoking for about 8 years.

I have realized I spend about half of my salary on consumption expenditure. That’s crazy and I am not happy about my financial state. Not dire but can be way better.

Stumbled on a playlist on Apple Music. Hits in Spatial Audio. It isn’t spectacular really. But it’s doing a lot this morning. My mood is stable, and I’ll probably play this list all day.

My country is going through a difficult time. I want to write about it from time to time. Politics, communities, and lifestyles. But I feel it will make me more depressed. Commenting on politics will surely do that. As it is, I can’t afford to add more weight.

Writing this stream of consciousness, I hope will be the start of more frequent writing.